Transcript
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Hello, and welcome to The storied human. I'm Lynne Thompson and I'm here with Sandy Cohen. There's a friend of mine from LA, we met in our podcasting class, which is just a great experience. And we have a whole bunch of a stayed in touch. And we're learning from each other as we go. I've learned so much from her, because we're actually part of a sub class that we have called a pod squad, Sandy and I and Patti Martin, we get together every week, and we are accountability partners, and we share tips. And it's just been so wonderful getting to know both of them.
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Sandy has a cool background. She was an LA celebrity reporter for years. And I think that she realized at a certain point in her life that maybe that was too much, you know, the pathway to burnout, and begin working on transitioning out of that. And so she's now pursuing a career as a as a wellness coach. She's finishing up her master's degree in public health. And she really focuses which I love on science backed inner peace information, her podcast is called inner peace to go. It's so much fun to listen to. And welcome, Sandy.
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I'm just I could go on and on.
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Thank you so much for the beautiful introduction. And it's always wonderful to spend time with you. I'd love our pods God to so that's like, it's Thank you.
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I'm so lucky that I made a mistake and read the wrong timezone. Because I signed up for something that was late, because it was Pacific timezone.
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But I wasn't paying attention.
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So I wonder if that was just a happy accident.
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It's been a happy accident for us. And I don't know how you have the energy to always come at night, but it's awesome.
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Well, I'm, I'm in my pajamas, time. And I'm in my bed. And I tend to stay up later now because I'm working at home. It's amazing how you shift. I'm a night person. And I had to like fight it back. For years. I fought it back. And I began to go to bed earlier. And it was just very hard to maintain that once I started working at home, I was like, Oh yeah, I remember I like to stay up, you know, and like perfect.
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You just like eight feet now from my bed to the corner of my bedroom. So I sleep a little later. So it all works out. So I am so fascinated with your journey. I love the idea of just noticing your life and saying I need some tweaks. I need some maybe a major transition. How did you get there? First, tell me about that beginning career because I think people are really fascinated by that. And what a cool lifestyle you had.
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But then when did you decide maybe that wasn't going to fit so well anymore?
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Well, so thank you for the question. i i. So i When I graduated from college, I did not know what I wanted to do, other than I knew I wanted to write and so I thought like okay, who gets paid to write like screenwriters, but that seems really competitive.
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novelists, you know, book writers, but that authors that seems like it would take a long time. When at the time that I graduate from college, there were still newspapers in every city. So I thought, Okay, well, maybe I'll try to be a journalist. And once I got into journalism, I couldn't have guessed. And I couldn't have imagined how like wonderfully suited for my personality it is because it's like talking to a bunch of people learning a bunch of stuff and then write about it. So I loved that. And I worked for a small newspaper, in actually in my hometown of Torrance, California. And a friend of mine who had worked at this newspaper went off to work for the big companies. And she went off to work with the Associated Press, and she was like, Sandy, you know, they are hiring for an entertainment reporter. You should apply. And I was like, okay, that's like very sweet that you think I should apply? I'm like the I work for the Daily Breeze. The newspaper I worked for it was called The Daily Breeze. I was like, I worked for the Daily Breeze, they they're not looking for someone from the Daily Breeze or looking for someone from like, the Boston Globe.
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They're looking for someone who's really, you know, like, a lot bigger than me is is what I thought. But she said, No, just apply. It'll be good to get your resume out there. And so I applied, and lo and behold, six months later, I got that job offer and I was shocked. I was I was just shocked. And but I was super thrilled. I thought oh my gosh, this zit I'll never have to get another job. I'm working for the Associated Press. It's the biggest journalism company in the world. I can retire from here and I thought I'll do the entertainment beat for a while and then I'll move into like international relations. or something like that, like, I've always been very interested in travel. And so I thought I could move into something that that would really bring in like my, my deep interest. And the job was a lot harder than I had anticipated. It just required so much, because it's so the content is so visible, and the associated press is so reliable.
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Yeah, you really, really have to know like, you cannot, I was gonna say you cannot make a mistake. I mean, obviously, everybody makes mistakes and mistakes are made, but like you double, triple and quadruple check, because you just need this to be right, because you know that reporters in city newspapers across the country and across the globe are going to rely on this information that you're sending out. So that created a lot of, I put it that created a lot of pressure. And I already put a lot of pressure on myself, like I always wanted to do well. I'm like, I want to get the a you know, like, so I so this job ended up being a lot more challenging than I had anticipated. It was not just like, I'm gonna breeze into a party. Yeah, that's what it was.
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So it was a lot of work. That being said, I did get to breathe into parties, and were celebrities where I did get to go like part of my job was, I would dress up and often be on the red carpet arrivals line, while the celebrities were coming into the party. And then many times I would get to like, actually go into the party myself and like, eat the food.
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And you know, that was really cool. People watch it. It was so cool. It was so cool. And especially for the award shows, like my favorite. My favorite assignment every year was for the Oscars for the Academy Awards. And I had just the world's best gig. So my assignment was the week leading up to the show, I would sit in on the rehearsals. So I would actually watch the stars don't generally come in rehearsals until right before like right before the show. But I would see how they blocked the show like how they set it all up. And they would have standards come up.
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And so I could get a sense of like, you know, the packages that they show like these pictures nominated for Best Picture when I would see all that. And I would just see how many people it took, like all the camera guys practice and where they have to go and their positioning. And you know, you've probably seen photos of it where they have like the seat saving placards like Meryl Streep is gonna sit here and then Ben Affleck is gonna sit here and so I got to be in for all of that. And then on the night of the Oscars, I got to attend. But I didn't just attend, like seated in the audience. I was standing right backstage, like, where the Oscar statues are where they handed?
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Oh, yes, that's where I was standing. And so like people, as soon as they won their Oscar, I was one of the first people who they saw when they came. Oh my gosh, no, it was wild and wonderful. And that was like my absolute favorite assignment of the year. And I got to do that for 12 years. Wow. Yeah, it was really phenomenal. But on the other side of it was anytime there was a divorce and arrest a death of a celebrity or some like notable figure in entertainment, I would get a phone call and be expected to work. So like, when now this is like a long time ago. But like when when Mel Gibson got arrested and have that big dramatic arrests, like I, they called me and I had to work and like if someone if a celebrity, or a prominent figure would die, like they call you up and you have to work. So it got together yelling, yeah, so you were kind of always on, which meant that it was really hard to like, take an exercise class or, you know, go away for the weekend. Like if you were going to go away for the weekend, you had to let like, departments all over the country know like, oh my gosh, yeah, it was kind of your whole life that it was my whole life. And I felt my health slipping away because I wasn't dating. And I was hardly ever having a chance to even like see my my mom. I wasn't exercising, you know, I was pretty much just working.
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And after just a few years in I thought, Wow, this pace is going to be unsustainable for me. But then I kept doing it. I kept getting like, more and more feeling worse and worse kind of so I had patients before I made the transition, I had indications that this is not going to be sustainable for me.
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And I remember at one point I was driving to work, the offices downtown LA and I was driving there and driving my car. I was like, oh my god is this my life for the next 30 years and next 20 years like this is what it is like I'm just going to drive here and work like this and I'm just going to be forever frazzled. I'm going to be and I started like having a panic attack. And I was like, okay, like, I shouldn't be driving this car. Is this really my life? Is this really what I'm going to do? And so that's when I kind of got serious about I need to I need to make a change as scary as it is and I worried that I never would. Yeah, I work in journalism. Again.
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What I'm wondering is you did it for so many years, it must have gotten very comfortable and you get really, you know, used to it and good at it and the celebrities did they recognize you when you were backstage like Did they know Are you?
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Not really very few? There was a few who recognized me and would be like, Oh, I talked to you recently. But for the most part, no, I was very interchangeable with many other internet reporters who they would speak to. So I never like befriended any celebrity or anything, I can actually count on two fingers, the number of celebrity or three actually the numbers of celebrities who asked me about myself, never did they ever no one like so. It wasn't it. It's not that it was dehumanizing.
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But I was super interchangeable.
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I was not anything like, sometimes I've seen on, you know, on the red carpet I've seen. I've seen celebrities greet, I guess because they're broadcasters so they know them.
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That's part of it. My friends who are my friends who are camera on camera producers, like they do have a relationship with them. Because they're like, a lot of times I could do interviews on the phone. Sometimes I'm in person, sometimes I'm not. But the red carpet people with cameras, it's always the same person. And like I have a friend and former colleague, Mark Malkin think he works for variety now. But he would always wear like a bow tie. So like, even if you didn't remember exactly, you know that, like he was the guy with the bow tie. And I was not wearing my hair purple at that time. But I have often thought, Oh, that would have been a good, good. So I'm really impressed that you listened to yourself, you know, that you had that panicky feeling that you started to think about? As hard as it can be, I'm going to have to make a change. So how did you do that?
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Well, I, I kind of couldn't ignore it anymore. Like I had already because I started having depression. And when I had depression, it felt like I had the flu. But I didn't have a fever. But like, I couldn't get a bed. I had no energy. So like my mental health took a real slide like a noticeable slide.
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Yeah. And, and I was terrified of that. I mean, it's always terrifying to think that something could be wrong with your brain, especially when my brain was the instrument that I used most for work and, and also everything else. But but so I had to notice this with my health and have, you know, ended up going to therapy, I ended up starting taking medication. And that whole prospect was really scary. And it was also like is, is this what I have to do to do this job? To take medication?
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It's scary. Yeah. And I was just like that count. That kind of can't be right. And also, I also knew, honestly, there's no way I can do this for 20 more years. I mean, there's just no way. Like, it's going to be physically impossible for me. I may become an alcoholic. I may. Right, like I just was gonna fall apart. I just knew it. So as I was really afraid to leave, I would just was certain that I wouldn't get another job in journalism.
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Because, you know, during the time that I had worked there, so many newspapers had closed. The only jobs that I was finding, like on job boards were for entertainment reporters, like that's what I was most qualified for. But that's not what I wanted to do. And yeah, it was scary. But like, my mood was so low. Yeah. My parents knew my friends knew like everybody was kind of like good till. Yeah, great for you. You know, curious how long anyone lasts. It sounds like it chews up people. I'm amazed that you lasted 12 years. I wonder if right. You know, I wonder if people don't tend to stay there forever? Because I don't know.
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So the pace.
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I here's the difference. Some people like I have a friend who is he's been an entertainment reporter since 1985. He is still an entertainment reporter now he loves it. Like he loves movies and shows he really loves it.
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He. Yeah, he loves it. And I think I just didn't love it that that way. Yes. You know, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I love movies. And I really, really love music. But I don't love like the news of a celebrity's divorce. I certainly don't love it enough to like, interrupt my weekend or like an evening with my mom. You know, here's what here's the thing. I remember when Philip Seymour Hoffman died, which you know, he died of an overdose. And that day, I had been visiting my grandmother, who is 99 and I and I visited her the most I was very close with my grandmother. And I remember I had gone over there.
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I had heard that old people don't get touched very much. So I would always like bring like lotion, or like try to brush her hair or stuff like that. She had lost her vision. She was pretty old. And I remember I was over there and I was putting lotion on her hands and she was like it's so cold. It didn't have the effect that I wanted. And then I got a call that hey, Philip Seymour Hoffman died. Can you cover this you know, can you take this on? And I remember telling the editor when I met my grandmas but you know I'll leave here in a few minutes and you know, like our guests it was kind of over you know, whatever she was found the lotion too cold or whatever. And I went home and I worked on Philips, you Seymour Hoffman in the next day my grandmother died. Oh, and like that was my last visit with my grandmother and I got interrupted by Philips. Now, granted that, that death, writing about that death had purpose for me because he died of addiction addiction is a brain disease that I care about.
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A lot of people have addiction who aren't famous. And that his story, here's this talented, brilliant guy, you know, had all this like great stuff going for him had battled addiction over the years had been sober and clean for many years. And then used again and, and passed away.
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So that story did have important, so it's maybe not the best illustration of one that like, pulled me away. That didn't seem important. But a lot of times, it just didn't seem important. Like, Sandy, we need you right away. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher getting divorced.
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It's like, all right. I mean, like, but it was my job. So I had to do it. Yeah. So yeah, so I think part of it was it didn't feel important enough for me to always be interrupting my life to really overtime. It just really wore you down. They didn't you didn't have your life. Yeah.
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Yeah. You wanted to have it?
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Yeah. So what did you do? So I stood about for many years as too scared to do anything. I tried to set better boundaries with the job. Like, I would just say, unless you're like, because they would kind of expect you to just work at any time and like, not even charge overtime, or anything, you know, like, so I would say like, look, just be aware that if you call me and ask me to work, I'm charging overtime. I'm not. I'm not trading it for some day off that never comes. And so I tried to set better boundaries. And then I tried to be like, Okay, I'm leaving at six. And I'm not available. Like I would tell this to myself, you know. That's how I started and I started going to therapy, and I started taking medication, I started really trying to take care of myself. And, and then in there, I got married. And then once I got married, I knew that I wouldn't have to pay for health insurance on my own. I could be on my husband's health insurance. And that's what made it seem possible for me to leave because I was afraid that lies I said that journalism Jobs had really dried up. And I mean, especially in areas outside of entertainment. And I just thought if I try to make it as a freelancer, I'm just concerned that I won't be able to like both pay my rent, and pay for my insurance. It was just going to be a lot. I've never been a freelancer. I've always been on staff either at a newspaper.
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Yeah, yeah. So So I eventually just like took that leap. And I gave up my salary. And I gave up my position, and I did not have another job. And it was super duper terrifying. And I remember my visions, I was like, I'm, I'm gonna step into the abyss, and he was like, you're gonna find out that it's just as easy as stepping off of a curb, which was, which was wonderful to hear. But it was it. It actually was somewhere between an abyss and a curb.
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Okay, there's an honest answer.
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Yeah, cuz I thought that, like, once I left that job, that I would kind of like, wake up happy, like, yeah, my time is my own, you know, but, um, but also then, like, also didn't have any income. So that was an issue.
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And it's okay. When you've always had deadlines, because I do similar work. You know, I'm a technical writer. It's not nearly as fun but but I always have deadlines. And my time is structured for me. You know, I always have a product, a guide a book to work on and get done.
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And it's very upsetting to suddenly have no structure.
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Yeah, it was really jarring to have no structure or it was liberating because it was like, Okay, what am I really about?
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What do I really care about, but then it was also super scary, because I didn't know.
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Nobody tells you like how to do that. No, people are in that position. Because of the pandemic because of the shifts in industries. A lot of people rich, and I know a lot of people that worked for many, many years, and got laid off, you know, once you hit your 50s that happens, and they do have some of the bigger companies have, like, counseling for after you get laid off. But in general, though, people just aren't. They don't know what to do. It's like one day they wake up and they don't have to go to work and they don't know what to do.
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Right? Yeah, yeah, I felt that.
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Um, so then I just tried to figure out okay, well, what would I want to do? What do I really care about? And the truth is that I really, really care about health and well being, especially after feeling my own become compromised by work. And I knew I wasn't the only person who was doing that. And it was quite common in my colleagues circles, not just in entertainment, but just like throughout news for people to like, drink after work like we did. A lot of us did that. A lot of people just like weren't getting enough sleep because you know, the job is busy and demanding and You know, weren't always eating right, and that kind of stuff. And so, so it just, that's when I really was like, you know, I want to do something with the health, I want to learn more about health, I want to encourage people around health, I want to write about how like I want, like if I had to work super hard like this or get called in and my days off, if it was about health, that would feel so much more worth it to me.
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You want it to be an instrument for good? Yeah, yeah, that's a very strong pole and a lovely, a lovely thing to pursue, because we need people to help us with that. I just read something on his Instagram, that's it said, burnout is happens when you've tried really hard to act like you're not human. It's so true.
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And died. Yeah, so totally true. We think we should be able to just go go go. And that's not our fault. I mean, we've been acculturated this way.
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Well, we worship that I swear is guilty if I'm not like, super productive and busy. But I remind myself that everyone has to recharge, you know, everyone, but people are so addicted to that. And they, they pride themselves on not getting enough sleep. I totally pride themselves on being so busy. And I'm like, if you're so busy, how do you know what you're really thinking about? Anything? You know, you're just reacting? Such a good point. Yeah, for sure.
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But that's hard, because you're against this world, this culture of, you know, be busy, be productive. You know, people literally do, Greg, like, I don't need much sleep.
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I know. But it's like, it's like, biologically unlikely because there are people I mean, there are people who can like actually thrive on five or six hours, but they're a very tiny percentage. I mean, most of us need seven to eight. Like that's a biological imperative. And yeah, um, oh, I did. I need a design. I need like, when I had Lyme disease I needed 10. Wow, yep. Survive.
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Yeah. Now, my husband only needs six. It really is true. Right.
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Some people that I kind of envy him because as those extra waking hours, but Yeah, everybody's different. But most of us do need like eight or nine. Right? Yeah. And they've I've read articles that said, that really is true. Like you just perform better and your, your mood is better, and you just, you function better. It's so basic, we still do have this sort of thing in our society that if you're not like crazy busy, and you know, it's almost like trying to be superhuman, like, you know, you're gonna beat the clock, you're gonna beat the need for sleep. It's kind of nuts. So we need people doing what you're doing.
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Well, I mean, I'm like such a sleep advocate. Like it has made all the difference. For me, getting enough sleep has made me like a happier, healthier person. And like I always say, like sleep, it's free. It's free and available tonight. Like, if you go to a doctor, you don't have to pay any money. Like, um, so yeah, so I'm all for the sleep, but just super powerful. Like I've, I've had some health issues over the last few years. And when I get sick, I just sleep. I just give in. I wish people understood how healing that is to just stop.
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We're not taught that either.
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Like those commercials like, oh, take this pill, you can keep on going, you won't feel the pain.
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I'm like, Well, you're not supposed to keep on going. No.
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telling you to stop and heal.
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You know, exactly. I saw that commercial too. And she was like, I still I'm gonna go another 12 hours. It's like, No, that's okay. But no, I agree.
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Our culture is one that certainly promotes a go, go go.
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Which is ironic, because then you have so many people who are like, I, what I really want is peace, or what I really want is happiness, or what I really want is a ton of money so that I can have peace and happiness.
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Right, you know, right. So there's a real disconnect. And, um, I'm also thinking like, we both live in areas that are, you know, kind of go go go, oh, yeah, I live 15 minutes from New York, but it definitely affects us. You know, just that whole crazy energy, you know. So I guess people that don't live, I just feel like you do feel compelled to be busy. And you, you get a lot of news, a lot of input, like all the time when you live near such a big metro area. And then, you know, we get new york news, and it's just like craziness. So yeah, you have to learn how to chill on your own. Yeah, by the way to do that. So you did that. I'm very impressed because that's not easy to do. So now, when did you start pursuing your master's in public health?
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So first, I went to school to learn about health coaching. Um, so that was the first thing I did. So I left my job in 2018.
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And I went to University of Wisconsin Stevens Point for their health coaching program, which was awesome. Ask them, you know, it's funny, I thought it was gonna make me like an expert in health, but it actually makes you an expert in behavior change and human behavior, because that's what it's about. It's about coaching people to make changes in their health. So we did learn like health basics.
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But I learned a lot more about human behavior, which was like, even more fascinating. So I enjoyed that experience of returning to school so much that the following year, I started the master's program, and I have like, I only have I think, four classes laughs I'm so great.
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Thanks. So you're set up already, I know you coach people already Is this your future, now you're going to be a health and wellness coach. I'd like to do health and wellness coaching and writing. I mean, I want to get this message out about how much of our health and well being was within our control. And I've often said, like, if I could have had a health coach, when I was in the throes of all this work, somebody who would maybe point out for me, here's how you can get more sleep, you know, you want a date, here's how you can find the time here, you know, like, I felt like, I don't know, I feel now like I would have benefited from that help, then.
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So I want to be that person for someone who's in that position, then you know, it's a perfect fit. Yes, you want to be able to give what you needed. You know, that's like, that's often what leads us to what we're supposed to do, I think, yeah, be able to give what you need it totally. So I want to help people who are feeling like super on the verge of burnout, or super stressed out or think Oh, my God, all I do is work.
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Like, I wish I had an exercise routine, or I wish I like could, you know, have stress free time with my family, or instead of thinking about all the things that I should be doing, you know, that kind of stuff like that's who, that's who I want to work with. Because I not only have I been that person, but in my studies, I've learned so much about the different ways that we can sort of hack our own selves to like, make the things that we desire happen. And then having a coach which is like, basically an unconditionally supportive cheerleader on your side, it just helps someone to kind of check in with someone to remind you that you can do this, you know, so wonderful.
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And I just love that everything you do is science backed.
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Because I think that convinces people who maybe aren't getting it like the Inner peace is not woowoo. It's it's a state of mind that you can achieve. And it's good for your brain. And I just love that. You went over maybe skeptics because you scratch everything, I think. I think it's the journalist in me because it's like, I want to know, yeah, why I can believe this. And so I want to know that this is like, has some kind of empirical evidence that it's not just like, oh, I should believe you just because you're saying it, you know? Yeah. So your background is perfect for this. And all kind of came together. I love that.
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And you know, what else is super awesome is like a lot of the things that wisdom traditions have been teaching you and I've talked about this before, like, the spiritual traditions, all, not all, but like a lot of the those concepts that have carried through 1000s of years are now being validated by science. So like, yeah, yeah, I know, right?
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Like, you know, all the meditation stuff, like now there's tons of research on meditation and mindfulness that shows that it like grows the gray matter your brain. So there's so much some of those traditions have persisted because they work. And then now science is saying, yeah, they work. You know, do I do love that? Yeah. And I think if it was just really old psychology, probably know, some of the rituals that people did.
00:28:22.529 --> 00:28:49.650
And they just, they, they stumbled upon solutions. And pass that knowledge down. I'm fascinated by that. I remember somebody talking about meditation, and how it actually changed your brain. And I was like, blown away. I knew it was good for you. But it literally changes your brain. So I'm so happy when science proves, you know what culture is new, but really, really puts the stamp of legitimacy on it. It's just so cool.
00:28:49.859 --> 00:29:09.569
Yeah, well, you know, what it makes me think of too, is like, the human condition, like, yes, our societies have changed, and things are much faster now. But the human condition, that has pretty much been the same, like the questions that we have about like, why are we here and dealing with like loss and death and illness, like the things that we all are going to face?
00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:18.420
Like, that's been true for millennia? So it does kind of make sense when you think about it, like why certain traditions would persist, because it's like, yeah, we're still fine.
00:29:18.450 --> 00:30:45.509
And we're still facing the same kind of problems just as people, right? And we're living, really society. And technology has just raced ahead. But I remember reading were the same as we were 100,000 years ago. We haven't changed physically, we haven't evolved, you know. So we're not set up for this crazy pace, and overload of information. And people are struggling, yes, particularly with the information because never in history in all of human history, has information come in as quickly as it does now with all our technology and devices. So we really are ill equipped to process information at the speed at which it can comes in. So it's not surprising that we're like hyperstimulated, or, you know, feeling stressed out. And also like, you know, Sunday talks about like, compassion, fatigue and stuff, because it's like, we never used to be able to feel the pain of people, all the way across the globe of like war in Ukraine and seeing those fires, you know, like, like, we would feel the pain of our village or community, like, you know, something happened to like someone in our church or whatever, like, we would all feel it. But now we can feel that for countless people across the globe again, and there's like, a billion of us, right? So there's a lot of opportunity to feel that and then so no wonder we don't have like, the emotional capacity or like, you know, just sort of the Yeah, mental or emotional, emotional capacity to deal with it.
00:30:45.750 --> 00:30:54.029
That's a really good point, I say to myself, sometimes, I just can't care about everyone today.
00:30:49.230 --> 00:30:58.259
Yeah, to close it in a little bit, and just take a break.
00:30:54.029 --> 00:31:19.799
Because all you all you'll do is get upset, you can't really help. And it's it's very difficult being exposed to all this, especially if you're sensitive, you know, I'm pretty sensitive I am I cry and stuff and like it. And I'm like, Who am I helping being like scattered like this worried about the whole world, one of you have to be careful, like to mind your, you know, your health and your boundaries.
00:31:19.919 --> 00:31:55.798
And one of the strategies, and this, I think, also was contributing to my stress and burnout at work, because one of the strategies that I've used since I mean, when I had the journalism job, is you know, we always had to be on top of the news, because if there was something topical in the news, we would want to ask whoever we were interviewing that day, maybe to comment on it. And just you were expected to kind of know what was happening in the news plus when you say, PII, so you're getting like the alerts on your phone. And, you know, one of the things I've done since leaving that job is I really restrict my news consumption. Oh, that's so but and restrict is the wrong word.
00:31:52.919 --> 00:32:15.719
Because it's not like, Oh, I wish I could consume more like I gladly am aware of limiting my my news consumption. So I don't read any news on the weekends. I don't read any news on the weekends. And and I read news during the week for for my current job as a health writer, but I mostly read health news. I mean, I'll scan the headlines.
00:32:15.719 --> 00:32:39.449
It's not like I'm like ostrich with their head in the sand. But like, I have to know a little bit. Yeah, right. But I don't like if something looks really, really upsetting. I don't read it. That's the headline is enough. I don't need to get super worked up and upset when there's nothing I can do about it. And, and because my emotional and psychological resources are finite. I, I don't want to spend it that way.
00:32:39.690 --> 00:32:48.569
That's so good. And it's such a great reminder for people who are listening right now, you don't have to read the whole article. I do that too.
00:32:45.720 --> 00:33:38.460
Sometimes I get all wrapped up in this stuff. And lately, I'm just like, wait a minute, you don't need that's too upsetting and too sad. And you can't do anything to change it. So don't read it right now. You know, but it's easy to get addicted, like I love to watch news. And I love to read news on social media. So I just have to impose limitations. You know what I do on the weekends, I don't pick up my phone right away. And people find it so strange. Like, they can't reach me, like on a Saturday morning. But I just like, don't I just it's fast for me. You know, I just don't want to read. I am so I mean, if somebody really wants to get to me they'll, you know call or although I am Richard. Right? I mean, I just can't do it. I just need a break. Oh, I did the same. That's another thing I've done with with them.
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:50.130
In terms of like limiting. Yeah, media consumption. Like I don't I don't take my phone off of sleep mode. Like Do Not Disturb mode. Until I log in for work.
00:33:45.990 --> 00:33:50.130
Like all morning. It's just me.
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:51.480
Yeah, I do morning.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:54.299
I just don't go there anymore.
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:55.170
Because I feel like it's a bottomless pit.
00:33:56.250 --> 00:34:40.079
Well, and then also, you're setting yourself up for like, especially if you see something upsetting or unexpected. Now you're sitting you're now you're already worried and you're barely awake. You barely got out of bed, you're already worried and worked out where you could have a more intentional morning, even if it's even if all you're doing is just gonna have one cup of coffee before you look at the phone. At least you had like your peaceful nice cup of coffee and be peaceful. Yeah, totally agree. So little changes like that can help us a lot. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And that's sort of what you're about is like just helping people realize the small changes that can make repetitive small changes, right, having consistency. And I just love that because it's accessible, you know, like people say, Oh, well, I can do that. You know, yes.
00:34:40.110 --> 00:35:17.820
You don't have to start like what is the say? How do you how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. You know? That is that's what we're doing when it comes to caring for our health and it's like an endless journey. Because once you get certain you know, once you'd like got your kind of media habits in place. Well now maybe I'm gonna do like a minute of deep breathing and the Once I get a minute of deep breathing, maybe I'm going to extend it to too. Or, you know, maybe I'm going to start taking a walk after my morning coffee or whatever it is, I think that you can just take, you make these small steps, and they're their own reward. And so yeah, it's motivating to do the next thing.
00:35:14.550 --> 00:35:21.000
Like it doesn't feel. It's not like, starting tomorrow, I'm gonna jog five miles a day.
00:35:21.630 --> 00:35:33.059
Yeah. And we've all done that in the past, you know, and it's like, I'm gonna get up every morning and swim, you know, every morning, you're gonna swim. Oh, brother. I love that.
00:35:33.059 --> 00:35:36.989
And I love that it's bite sized.
00:35:33.059 --> 00:36:07.650
You know, it's bytes. And that's, that's doable. I love that. Even my, my niece was here, sorry, my niece was here this weekend. And she's like, oh, I need to start meditating. But I'm leaving for college in two weeks. I was like, well, and I said it when I started, I started with two minutes. She's like, Yeah, I'm gonna start with one. And I was like, Okay, well, you're leaving for college in two weeks, we could still meditate for one minute tomorrow. And then if you did that already, for two weeks before you got to college, then you'd kind of be like, Oh, I already have this habit. Like, oh, yeah, like, why couldn't I meditate for one minute tomorrow? You know?
00:36:08.250 --> 00:36:29.190
Yeah, I think it is hard sometimes to picture these changes. It is. And I know, I'm just I mean, I have come face to face with how hard it is for me to change. Like, in the last couple years, I've just really faced it. Like, I hold on to stuff I hate when stuff changes.
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:35.699
And I cling to the past to like, there's just a whole lot of resistance to change. And so that's what I need to work on.
00:36:32.429 --> 00:37:14.099
But I wonder if people even know that about themselves, you know, they just, they resist it. And they don't even identify that there. I mean, it took me forever to identify it. Well, and it goes back to what you were saying before, if you're zoom, zoom, zoom, I'm super busy. I don't even need sleep on Go, go go. You never even have time to reflect on. Oh, um, you know, I ruminate on the past, or I've noticed that I'm resistant to this thing. I mean, I think you have to, like introspection requires time, at least a couple minutes, right? Like, if you're like, go, go, go. And you're so like, frazzled and pulled in every direction that you actually don't have to spend any time inside your own head, then I think you're absolutely right.
00:37:14.099 --> 00:37:20.070
How would you know, you never would you look you would not, you're not, you're not observing yourself.
00:37:17.579 --> 00:37:28.349
And that's what I find myself doing more now. And it has led to more peaceful moments. It really has. So that's what you say, really resonates with me.
00:37:28.380 --> 00:37:40.889
I've learned a lot from your podcast, and just a lot from talking to you every week. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I know I love it. I'm so grateful for it. I just are so lucky that we got each other.
00:37:37.469 --> 00:38:00.389
I have a lot. And you know that podcast class is starting up again. And I was saying to to this other woman I know cuz she's like, I'm thinking about doing it. I was like, it's about so much more than podcasting. You're gonna make new friends. And it's like, you can't imagine that because it's like, we've actually never met in person. You and I. Yeah.
00:37:56.369 --> 00:38:00.389
But you're definitely my friend.
00:38:00.389 --> 00:38:04.588
Like, there's no, it's about.
00:38:00.389 --> 00:38:26.730
It's but it's so cool. Because I didn't expect that from the program. That's exactly what I was thinking. It's like, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna learn how to podcast and then it was so much about mindset. And then I ended up with all these people that think like, the same way and are so helpful and supportive. I mean, not that I don't like my in real life, friends, I do. But this is such a nice supplement. You know, it's like the supplementary supplementary reading.
00:38:27.869 --> 00:38:35.940
But and also just like, also kind of just an ancillary benefit, because we also did learn how to podcast but then we also like got the news and this new community.
00:38:36.690 --> 00:38:53.760
So it's definitely cool. And I'm so glad I did it. I think teaching yourself to podcast would be nuts. There's so much to it. And then you don't have the support of people going through that same journey. I think that's been the fun for me. The excitement and the motivation and accountability.
00:38:53.789 --> 00:38:54.570
Definitely.
00:38:54.630 --> 00:39:11.400
Yeah. Well, and also just that shared experience of like, oh, yeah, this is like, oh, this person figured this out. Oh, how'd you do that? You know, like, kind of that community, you just aren't going to give up? If right? If you see other people charging ahead, it's just wonderful. Because I'm actually gonna, go ahead, go ahead.
00:39:11.789 --> 00:39:29.099
I was gonna say I've noticed that with fitness too. It's just talking about my, about this to my knees. So like, when the pandemic started before started, I used to go to ballet barre classes, you know, those classes were you like, bouncing on one foot and whatever. And it's always really hard. But I felt like, Oh, I'm getting stronger.
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.099
My balance is getting better.
00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:41.340
And like, you know, I'd be in the class. And then during the pandemic, I started doing it on the video. And it is not the same because like, it's really hard, but it's just me here by myself and no one is watching me and now I'm walking away to get a glass of water.
00:39:43.110 --> 00:39:47.849
That is such a great point. It's really different. It really is.
00:39:48.150 --> 00:40:37.590
I remember, back when we were members of the Quaker church, and they do silent, mostly silence they just sit in silence. And sometimes if people feel compelled to say something They do. But basically, it's Christian meditation. And it's like an hour every week. And I remember somebody saying to me like, well, I can sit at home and be quiet. And I'm like, It's not the same when you're surrounded by other people, other souls. You know, just that community. It just really was a lesson to me, like, even in silence, we were connected, you know, and I didn't end up staying there for a variety of reasons. But I just really respect that kind of connection and what they were about. And you do you have to be with other people or you don't, you're not as accountable first of all, and it's not as fun.
00:40:37.710 --> 00:40:47.489
There's that proverb that I think it's an African proverb, and it says, If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others.
00:40:48.150 --> 00:41:05.190
Perfect. That's perfect. Well, I think that's a great way to end this. I'm so grateful that you made time tonight. And I really already knew you. But now I know more. listeners are gonna love it. Where can we find you?
00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:05.190
What's your info?
00:41:05.460 --> 00:41:18.329
Oh, thank you so much. Well, it's been a delight to be with you. You know, I love talking to you. So I'm always happy to see you and chat with you. And thank you for having me. I'm so honored to be on your podcast.
00:41:13.260 --> 00:41:35.909
So you can find me my podcast is called inner peace to go and it's available wherever you get your podcast. And then I'm on Instagram at you know, Sandy, and sometimes putting up like affirmations and like little videos about brain science and stuff. So if you like that kind of stuff or want to learn more about it, come check me out over there.
00:41:35.969 --> 00:41:51.150
I love your Instagram. I really do. It catches me. I really enjoyed it. I see a great future for you, young lady. I appreciate it. I appreciate your time. I love hearing the story.
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:52.860
You know, I'm all about the story.
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:56.880
I know it. I love it. Well, thank you so much. It was an honor to share it with you.
00:41:56.909 --> 00:41:58.889
Yeah, I really appreciate you making the time
